


Troubled

by stopthismiracle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Parenthood, Slice of Life, all nct is the fic, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopthismiracle/pseuds/stopthismiracle
Summary: Yuta was horrible with kids, when his older sister got married and got pregnant he didn’t feel happy for her, neither for himself thinking how awesome was going to be spoiling and teaching bad things to a kid who wasn’t his.





	1. Chapter 1

Yuta was horrible with kids, when his older sister got married and got pregnant he didn’t feel happy for her, neither for himself thinking how awesome was going to be spoiling and teaching bad things to a kid who wasn’t his. It was his second year at university and during the break in between years, he asked out one of classmates, he liked the boy since they first met, he found him interesting and awfully attractive. He didn’t expect that his feelings were going to be reciprocated, so when he asked him out, after a party the both had gone to, his whole body was shaking. Taeyong accepted, he had never seen a smile more beautiful.

When he found out that Taeyong had a kid it was a huge blow. It was after a week of Taeyong skipping classes because according to him he was dead sick. He refused to be visited during that week, but Yuta thought he was going to be a shitty boyfriend if he didn’t visit him. He bought a couple of canned soup in the convenience nearby and headed to his boyfriend’s house. A little kid with huge eyes opened the door.

“DAAD! Someone’s at the door!” He called out not letting go of the door handle. “Hi, my name is Minhyung. I’m three.” He said holding three fingers up in the air. Yuta looked everywhere thinking that he must have ringed the bell of the wrong door. His surprise came when a pale Taeyong appeared behind the kid, telling him in a strong but lovely tone to not open the doors without checking first who was.

 

Taeyong looked equally surprised, he let his boyfriend enter the apartment, making the little boy to go to his room to watch cartoons. Yuta was standing close to the dining area, he didn’t know what to do.

 

“Ok, we need to talk”

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was cold the day he asked the girl out, her cheeks were pink because of the weather, while Taeyong’s were pink out of embarrassment. She accepted going out with him. The months that came were full of cuteness, it was like a dream come true, like those romances he used to see in his sister’s dramas, at least on his side. Around the third month of dating she started behaving different, her movements weren’t as innocent as before. Everything felt sketched, like it was a part of a plan that he was too scared to know.

They were 16, too young to know anything yet, or at least it’s how he justified himself. It was embarrassing for him to go a drugstore to buy condoms (he didn’t know if he could buy them being underage and all that stuff). When his partner came to him telling him that she was pregnant his world turned upside down. He ran away from his duties the first two years, until he got into university and the girl left their son in his door, he felt like a shitty dad the first time he saw the little boy.

 

 

“So, her mom just left him here? Isn’t she bad too?”

“It’s okay, I had to be responsible for this too. Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.”

“It’s ok, I think…”

“Really? You’re awesome” Taeyong smiled hugging Yuta really tight. Yuta swallowed loudly, he didn’t know if he was okay with it, but he liked Taeyong a lot. When they were hugging, he noticed how Taeyong’s body temperature was a little bit higher than usual, he looked at the boy in his arms, he was pale and didn’t look fine.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Yuta said caressing his forehead, Taeyong flinched at the contact, Yuta’s hands were cold.

“Not good. Actually, one of my neighbors was taking care of him this week, because I don’t want him to get sick, but today she couldn’t…” Taeyong leaned into Yuta’s hands who were still holding his face.

“I brought you soup and medicines, go to bed and I’ll bring you something.”

 

While he was preparing soup (more like heating the canned soup in a pot), he started processing all the information, he now understood why Taeyong always refused to meet in his apartment, why the boy worked during the night, and why he sometimes suddenly disappeared. He didn’t understood why Taeyong accepted him, when he was practically a kid too (if he was him he wouldn’t want to be near another kid).

When he went into Taeyong’s bedroom a tray with two soups in his hands, he felt relieved to notice that the kid wasn’t in Taeyong’s bed and Taeyong was quietly going through his phone with a hand, music coming from the gadget, following the rhythm with his free hand. Yuta lent him the tray to sit next to Taeyong, in the small bed they barely fit, Taeyong let go of his phone, letting the music go on.

“By the way, I’m not going to ask you to take care of him, it’s not your responsibility… I’m his dad”

Yuta smiled kissing his boyfriend’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I really don’t mind…”

Taeyong smiled. “Thank you for coming. I missed you”

 

 

That night Yuta felt asleep in Taeyong’s bed before they got to do something, he was so tired. He was startled when Taeyong got up from bed at 6 a.m. way early for his 10 a.m. class, he explained briefly that he needed to prepare Minhyung to take him to the nursery, that he could continue sleeping. He turned around, covering himself better with the blankets, he felt how Taeyong ruffled his hair before going into the next room. Yuta felt asleep quickly after.

 

He woke up again 30 minutes later because he suddenly felt like hugging something to sleep. He found Taeyong feeding a sleepy Minhyung. He smiled at both finding a seat next to Taeyong, and placing his head in Taeyong’s back who was still feeding his son.

“Ok, buddy, time to brush your teeth.” The kid got up from the table going to the bathroom quietly on his own. Taeyong turned around kissing Yuta on his front head. “Why did you got up?”

“I missed you.”

“Me too. Why don’t you go back? I’ll go back to bed in a while.”

Yuta nodded moving from Taeyong’s embrace to the table where they were eating. Taeyong smiled fondly at him leaving the table to go to watch his son.

 

 

 

 

“Is it difficult? To take care of him?” Yuta asked later that morning, they were still in bed holding each other, after a quick session of morning sex.

“After a while you get used to it.” Taeyong said looking up to him. “I’m really sorry for not telling you before, it was hard.”

Yuta smiled back at him, tightening their embrace.

 

 

 

The following weeks after founding about Taeyong’s kid were a mess for Yuta, firstly he failed a midterm because he fell asleep studying for it and end up missing the test, after that, he received a phone call from his mom telling him that his paternal grandma has passed away. He bought the first flight he found to go back to Japan, in the hurry he forgot to take his phone with him, and because he had to help his mother and sisters to make all the preparations for the funeral he barely had any time to connect himself to his SNS.

When he could log into his kakao account (through his sister pc), he found his inbox full of worries from his friends. He cursed himself. Taeyong must be mad, he thought.

Yong:

Johnny told me you missed your test, are u ok?

Sent 13/05 11:54 a.m.

Where are you? I came to your apt and you weren’t there.

Sent 16/05 09:35 p.m.

Missed calls (5)

Yuta…

Sent 17/05 04:52 a.m.

I don’t what’s wrong but please answer your phone…

Please…

Missed calls (11)

Sent 17/05 07:10 a.m.

Your neighbor told me you haven’t come back to your house… I’m worried please answer your phone.

I’m so so so so so sorry

I had to return to my parents’ home in the hurry I forgot my phone

My dad’s mom died

Sent 17/05 04:12 p.m.

Yong:

My condolences…

Are u ok?

Thank god, I was so worried, I thought you were mad at me.

Sent 17/05 04:13 p.m.

Don’t worry, I barely knew her, she used to live in America

She came back when I went to Korea to study

Why? You should be mad at me

I’m sorry, again.

Sent 17/05 04:15 p.m.

When are you coming back?

Sent 17/05 04:17 p.m.

Yuta bit his lip thinking that he hadn’t bought a ticket back to Korea yet, and he missed a lot of classes, and two tests. He felt the stress coming and suddenly didn’t want to come back.

Maybe on Monday

I don’t know… I haven’t bought my ticket yet

And dad doesn’t want to pay for it

Sent 17/05 04:25 p.m.

 

“Did you talk with your boy?” Yuta nodded watching how in the screen it showed that Taeyong was writing. “Why you look so troubled?”

“I missed already 3 tests this term… and Taeyong has a son”

“What?”

“Yeah…”

“You hate kids, you don’t even like your niece… What are you going to do?”

“She’s annoying, you have to admit it.” He said smiling, his sister hit him in the back of his head. “Always so violent. I’m gonna tell mom.” He said pouting overreacting. “I don’t know, he told me that I don’t have to worry about it, because he’s the father… but the kid will always be there…”

“Are you jealous?”

“No. I’m just worried.”

“About what?”

“It’s just that… he’s alone… and he must be really scared of what was going to happen if he never told me about it… he’s not the type to lie or hide things… I’m worried about him.” He said sounding more worried that he intended to, his sister looked at him surprised.

“Are you going to tell mom about it?”

“No, are you crazy? They won’t let me go back to Korea…”

“Hey… don’t worry. Besides, I think mom knows…”

“Eh? Why?”

“She asked me last month what was your relationship with Taeyong, because she saw a picture of you two hugging.”

Yuta looked at his sister angry, the only possible way for his mom to see that picture was someone showing it to her, because she barely uses her phone to call. “Traitor” he mumbled.

He didn’t keep talking to his sister. He looked briefly at the pc before logging out.

Yong:

Ok, let me now so I can go and wait for you at the airport.

Sent 17/05 04:26 p.m

Ok, love you :*

Sent 17/05 04:56 p.m.

 

 

He told his mother everything that night. She didn’t question him and instead told him the next time he should bring him, and Minhyung too. When she was falling asleep she told him about never expecting having grandkids from him. He smiled and let her rest.

 

 

 

 

The day he came back he forgot to tell Taeyong about, mostly because he took a plane at 4 a.m. because he didn’t want to miss more classes. He decided to surprise the boy and instead of going to his own apartment, he went to Taeyong’s. Sun was rising at the moment he arrived at Korea, he bought some chocolates at the airport duty free. When he arrived at Taeyong’s door he knocked carefully the door his heart beating so fast. He didn’t realize at first how nervous he was, and after almost three weeks of not seeing each other he started to feel physically how much he missed the boy.

Yuta was greeted by a sleepy looking Taeyong, who hugged him immediately. “I’m back” he whispered in Taeyong ear, he thinks Taeyong answered him but he barely heard it because the sound of his heart was louder than everything else.

Taeyong let him in after sharing a couple of kisses at the door frame.

 

 

It became something regular for him to drop by Taeyong’s apartment after classes. First, because he didn’t cook well, and Taeyong was good at it, secondly, because after founding out about Minhyung, he understood why Taeyong always had such a little amount of time to be with him. He spoiled him with his favorite cookies everyday so he wouldn’t be rejected and kicked back home. Somehow, he didn’t found Minhyung as terrible as he initially thought. The kid was well behaved and always playing by himself (which was a little bit lonely in his opinion, but he wasn’t going to play with him, mostly because he didn’t know how).

“Yuta hyung, are you coming to my birthday?” He was surprised, they were eating dinner in silence when the little boy asked him, he barely talked when Minhyung was present afraid of saying something bad or inappropriate in front of a minor, Taeyong looked equally surprised.

He swallowed slowly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Yeah, of course.” He may not like kids but he wasn’t a jerk either, and when he saw the big smile on Minhyung’s face he knew he was fucked, he couldn’t say no.

Taeyong looked at him smiling and continued eating. “Minhyung-ah, finish your food…” He told when he saw the boy was playing with the food in celebration mode. Yuta smiled back and finished eating, he watched how the boys ended their food thinking about their resemblance. Later at night when he was about to say good bye, Taeyong told him that it wasn’t necessary for him to go, after all they were going to the movies because he couldn’t afford to make kids party. Taeyong looked tired. Yuta told him it was ok.

 

 

 

It was one day before Minhyung’s birthday when he received a text message from Taeyong asking him to pick him from the day care center. He was surprised at first, but then he recalled how Taeyong told him that he was taking more turns at the restaurant he was working, but it wasn’t for that specific reason, Minhyung was sick and needed to be taken home to rest. He left the university library to go search for the little boy. When he reached the place Minhyung was sleeping, he had to take him but after a couple of minutes walking to the station, he decided to wake him, the boy looked pale.

“Hey, Minhyung-ah, I’m going take you to my place while your dad is at work, ok?” He made Minhyung sit on a bus stop bench. The boy only nodded hugging Yuta, he must feel terrible, Yuta thought, without noticing he ruffled the boy’s hair, he touched the boy’s forehead, it was abnormally hot. “Ok, we’re going to take a taxi.”

The taxi trip was short, Yuta tried to wake him to get him out of the car but he couldn’t, so he had to get him out of the back seat with many difficulties. Once he settled the little boy on his bed he searched through his bathroom cabinets for a thermometer he was sure he had somewhere, because his mother made him buy one when he moved to Korea. Yuta sent a message to Taeyong to let him know they were ok in his place.

The thermometer marked 39°, he started to panic.

 

He tried to remind what his mom usually did for him when he was sick, but he couldn’t. He called Jaehyun, who was a pre-med so it was the obvious thing to do, he also lived close by, so it was convenient. The younger boy was at his place resting, he told Yuta he was going in a bit, that in the meantime he such try to not cover the boy too much that it would only rise the temperature.

 

“Why are you taking care of Taeyong’s son?” Jaehyun said when he got into Yuta’s apartment.

“Did you knew he had a kid?” Yuta answered feeling mad suddenly. Jaehyun looked surprised.

“I found out because I saw him with Minhyung a couple of times outside campus, I asked him about it, and he told me the truth…”

“And you didn’t tell me? What kind of friend are you?”

“It’s not my business to tell…? Also, you were so whipped about him that a kid wouldn’t mind, and I bet you don’t mind”. He said taking his equipment. “Can you move him a bit? Just to check his heart rate and all that stuff”

“I think I might take him to a hospital, you don’t sound like you know what you’re supposed to do.”

“Shut up and let me work.”

 

Yuta laughed grabbing his phone, he called for delivery after checking his messages. Taeyong had sent him a thumbs up and a short message telling him he was going to be there around 7 p.m. he looked up seeing how Jaehyun was already done.

“It looks just like a cold.” He explained briefly how to make the temperature of the boy, and how he should treat him, Minhyung was looking at the tv that was off. “When is Taeyong coming? Also, don’t feed the boy shit” Jaehyun said watching how Yuta was searching for food through his refrigerator.

“Hey, language” He said taking a chocolate with him. “Do you want some?” Yuta offered both knowing that one of the boys weakness was chocolates.

“We should save for dad, too.”

“Yeah, buddy, plus dinner is coming… Hey, are you staying?”

“No, by the way, where were you last week? The boys told me you kind of disappeared…”

“I had to go back to Japan, my dad’s mother died, I had to help them to set the funeral and stuff.”

“Sorry, man, I don’t see you that affected by it, though.”

“I never knew her.” He said shrugging.

“You owe me a beer. See ya.” He said patting on Yuta’s shoulder before leaving the apartment.

 

 

“How are you feeling?” Yuta asked to Minhyung while sitting on his bed.

“Not good.”

“Ok, I’ll make something to drink, you can watch tv if you want, I think there is some cartoon channel.”

Minhyung nodded grabbing the remote control, shiny eyes looking sad. Yuta went to the kitchen to prepare some tea while the food came, sighting. They spent the whole afternoon watching cartoons on bed, eating a bit, and drinking lemon honey tea that Yuta prepared with his sister indication on the phone. Minhyung looked at him like trying to not laugh, he told Yuta after that he was cool because he could speak Japanese also. Yuta laughed before finishing his drink. Not even his niece called him cool.

He felt awesome suddenly, he was really simple minded about this kind of things.

 

Both felt asleep after eating dinner. Yuta was on his couch and Minhyung using the bed, when Taeyong arrived, he had keys so he opened the door surprised to see the both sleeping with the tv on.

“Hey, we should move Minhyung and get on the bed.” Taeyong told Yuta caressing his hair.

“Hi, what time is it?” Yuta said eyes semi open, trying to sit in the couch. “Do you want something to eat?”

“It’s around midnight, I couldn’t leave before, sorry. It’s okay, I already ate at the restaurant. How is Minhyung?”

“Jaehyun says it’s just a cold, that it would get better with the days.” Yuta told him looking for a hug. “What did you say before?”

“Isn’t this the couch that transforms into a bed?” Yuta nodded, still sleepy. “Let’s arrange it so we can both sleep here.” Yuta was still nodding when he stood up to search for more blankets leaving Taeyong all the hard work. They got into the bed quickly, both were tired.

 

 

 

 

 

In the morning Minhyung woke up feeling disoriented he didn’t recall what happened the day before, he sat on the bed looking around. He saw his dad and his Yuta hyung on the couch sleeping soundly. He got up feeling slightly dizzy and went to wake up his dad.

“DAAD!” He screamed watching how both adults sat up quickly.

“Minhyung! I told you to wake me like this!”

“But it’s my birthday” Said the boy pouting. Yuta was cursing under his breath, he now recalled why he didn’t like kids.

“Kid, you almost killed me.” Was the only thing Yuta said but it was enough to unveil chaos, he saw how the little boy face scrunch up and started to cry. “No, no, no, no, no literally die… I was surprised.” He tried to explain. Taeyong was laughing at his side. He picked Minhyung up.

“It’s okay, Minhyung-ah, he was only joking, right Yuta?”

“Yeah, sorry Minhyung, I’ll buy you an ice cream for your birthday”

“REALLY?!” The kid screamed again, leaving Taeyong who was still holding him, almost deaf.

“Yes, just don’t scream… please.” Yuta said looking at his boyfriend who was still suffering from his son screaming.

 

 

Later, after watching the movie that Minhyung wanted to, and buying him a huge ice cream that left Taeyong side eyeing him, they were walking back to the train station talking about stupid things while was resisting his urge to take Taeyong’s hand. On the train Taeyong became serious, or tired, he didn’t know, Minhyung was sleeping on his side and Yuta had a hand on his knee on the other.

“I think I’m going to have to take a break from university…” Taeyong blurted out of nothing.

“Why?” A stupid question, Yuta though three seconds late. He knew Taeyong situation wasn’t as good as his.

“My dad convinced my mom that it was a bad idea to keep supporting me. And I’m one strike of losing my scholarship… I can’t afford to get a loan to study, plus having to pay rent and all Minhung’s expenses…”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Yuta’s hand left his knee while correcting his posture, he placed the same hand on Taeyong’s shoulder.

“You didn’t know about Minhyung before… and I don’t want to make you responsible for things that aren’t your fault, you know this is my fault, and I’m still amazed that you didn’t run after seeing him, but… I don’t know, also, my pride doesn’t let me ask for help…”

“But I think you know that I’m here for you and all that stuff… I still don’t why you didn’t tell me before, but it worries me more than what it makes me angry. I love you, I don’t want you to suffer”

Taeyong was quiet for a bit. “I love you.” He said hiding his face on Yuta’s neck.

 

 

 

 

 

Taeyong left university on a sunny day. Yuta kept going to his apartment after classes, watching over Minhyung while Taeyong was away. They never told Minhyung what was going on but kids are smart and when the typical ‘draw your family’ activity came at his kindergarten, instead of drawing only Taeyong as his only paternal figure, he also drew Yuta by Taeyong’s side, the three were hand holding. Yuta teared up a bit in the bathroom after watching the drawing, Taeyong was not surprised.

At some point, they moved together to Taeyong’s apartment _to share the rent_ , Yuta said. He bought a bigger bed for them and a couple of toys to Minhyung, because it was almost his birthday, and he was turning 5, which it’s a special number according to his sister. Yuta started to intern at local business company and Taeyong got a promotion in the convenience store he worked.

 

Everything was going well, except it wasn’t. He knew his dad was sick but he couldn’t go as often as he wished to Japan. He also couldn’t take Taeyong and Minhyung to Japan because Minhyung’s mother refused to let him out of the country. He was writing his thesis to graduate (finally) but he got to travel every other week to Japan. It was tiring, but going back to his house and being welcomed by Taeyong’s hugs and kisses was the best.

 

“You guys are so married” Jaehyun once told him, he was an intern in the hospital that Minhyung usually went for his checkups. Yuta ignored him, thinking that he was right, they acted like a married couple, and even their fights were like (most of them were because Yuta forgot something, or the usual disagreement over whatever stupid thing).

 

 

It was when Minhyung had his first school day that he realized how much he meant for Taeyong and Minhyung (like the picture he drew a year ago wasn’t a big indicator), he took his newly bought car and drove them to the elementary school, Minhyung was nervous and his dad too. At the front gate, he was taking pictures of the ‘big day’ like how Taeyong liked to say, when one of Minhyung old kindergarten classmate came running to him with a big smile. He took him by the hand and went into the school together when they heard.

“Are those your dads? They look so cool! my parents are old…” The kid said, Minhyung nodded smiling. Yuta felt weird, he never didn’t know that Minhyung considered him a paternal figure, he treated Minghyung as a dongsaeng, and him as his hyung nothing else.

Taeyong was looking at him trying to read. “He asked me if he could call you dad also…” He said scratching the back of his head. “I told him he should ask you about it…”

“I… I… I don’t know what to do…” Yuta said so low that Taeyong had to close their distance to heard him.

“It’s ok, I’ve never asked you to be his dad, you’ve help me a lot and I’m always grateful.” He kissed Yuta’s hand.

“I don’t even like kids, Minhyung is the exception, but is because he’s your son.”

Taeyong laughed. “I know.” He kept smiling looking at a confused Yuta. “Let’s go, you’re gonna be late for work.”

 

 

 

Yuta’s head was in the clouds for most of the day, he made more mistakes than usual, when he arrived home he clung to Taeyong’s side, late at night when they make sure Minhyung was sleeping deeply he fucked Taeyong slowly making him beg under him, when both finished Taeyong looked half mad, but everything disappeared when Yuta smiled at him and he kissed him softly.

 

The next day at his lunch time he bought a ring.

 

Thirty minutes later he received a message from his sister.

 

His dad had passed away.

 

 

 

 

 

The service was sad, his mother didn’t cry but the sadness in her face made everything more painful, his sister on contrary didn’t stop crying silently. He had said good bye to Taeyong and Minhyung at the airport not long ago, and he didn’t know if he was sad because he wasn’t with them or because his dad was dead.

 

Days passed in a blur, he and his sister had to take charge of the family business with his sister (a small bakery chain), he was still unprepared (he knew some day he’ll have to take care of the family business, but not this fast), and his dad was unorganized even in his standards. His sister had a family also, he spent most of the days in the central, eyes on the screen of his computer, never ending calculations. He always tried to send Taeyong messages, but it was hard.

Three months later he took a weekend off and traveled back to Korea, to the arms he missed.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Was the first thing he said to Taeyong when he saw him.

“It’s been lonely.” _I know, me too_ , was what Yuta wanted to say, but instead he hugged him so hard, not wanting to leave his side ever again. Minhyung was happy to see him, he jumped into his arms with a smile on his face, Yuta gave him the toys he bought for him in Japan, and he gave Taeyong cookies, and a bag full of kit kats. “Are you bribing me?”

“Just wanted to have you on your nicest side.” He said smiling. Taeyong kissed him. It was the first time it happened in front of Minhyung eyes, but he couldn’t care less.

He missed his flight on Sunday night on purpose, his sister screamed at him over the phone and after told him to work up his things in Korea and get back to Japan as soon as possible.

 

On Monday morning, after taking Minhyung to school, he took a train to the other side of Seoul, where Minhyung’s mom lived.

 

He talked to her for two hours and asked him in all possible tones to sign the papers to let Minhyung go out of the country, she refused and told him he was losing his time. He told her that she hadn’t seen Minhyung in the last two years, and he always waited for her on her birthdays. He left the place crying silently on the train back to his house.

 

Taeyong got a free day to spend more time with him and he felt like shit. They spent the whole day in bed talking about the last months, making love sweetly (and other not so sweetly).

 

He left for Japan on Friday, his heart full.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I think we should break up.” Taeyong said over a skype session three months later. Yuta couldn’t go back to Korea yet, in his house everything was still a mess.

“What? What makes you think this the right thing to do?” Yuta tried hard not to sound so angry.

“Look, you’re young and you can date whoever you want. You don’t have to be with me, and I don’t want to be the stone on your path way.”

“You never were a stone. I love you, damn it.” He cut the skype call to avoid reality. He cried in the kitchen until his mother went to look for him. It took him ten minutes to stop the horrible sobbing and ten more to stop the tears falling. He fell asleep with his eyes heavy and his chest tight. He had never felt so lost.

 

 

 

 

Minhyung discovered the news two weeks after, he asked his dad to call Yuta many times but he was always dismissed, until a day that he became too insistent and Taeyong screamed at him that Yuta wasn’t going to be back that there was no use in calling him anymore. He was surprised, one, because his dad never screamed at him, and second, because it was the first time he saw him cry, he slept with him, supposing it was going to calm him.

 

But that didn’t stop him, he asked his uncles Jaehyun and Doyoung about Yuta, and even though he never mentioned his name in front of Taeyong’s. He got one paper with Yuta’s address in Japan, his phone number and mail. But he was 7 and he couldn’t leave the country without his parents’ permission and no money. He told Donghyuk about it (his best friend in school) and both made a plan to get them together.

He stayed at Donghyuk’s house after school, and borrowed Donghyuk’s noona his computer. He put Yuta’s email on the skype application like he once saw his dad done it. He pressed the call button and waited. Donghyuk on his side looked just as nervous as him.

“Hello? Who is it?”

Minhyung paralyzed in that moment. “Minhyung! Answer back” Donghyuk told him, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Minhyung?”

“Yuta-nii, it’s Minhyung-ie.” Donghyuk on his side made puking noises. “How are you?”

“Good, Minhyung, gosh… how have you’ve been? Where are you calling from? Does Tae… does your dad know about this?”

“No! he doesn’t know! But please don’t tell him, I wanted to talk with you…”

“Ok, buddy, what is it?”

“If we went to Japan… will you and dad go back?”

Yuta laughed sad. “I don’t know, it’s difficult, Minhyung-ah...”

“But… but…”

“I know buddy, but… for the moment you guys can’t come… and it’s better if things are this way…” Yuta’s voice cracked over the phone.

“Can we keep talking? Please, I miss you…” Minhyung said almost crying.

“You have to ask your dad about it Minhyung…”

The phone call ended after 30 minutes, Minhyung was crying silently with his arms hiding his face, Donghyuk comforted him with candies and horrible jokes.

That week he wrote a letter to his mother, asking her for permission to go to Japan.

 

 

 

“Minhyung, how’s school going?” Taeyong asked, during that week he came home late almost every day.

“Good.” Minhyung was focused on his math homework.

“Minhyung, look at me…”

“What is it, dad?”

“Yuta told me that you called him.” Minhyung looked scared, tears accumulating in his eyes. “I’m not mad, but please, if you want to talk to him, please tell me, talk to me if you ever need something, ok?”

Minhyung started crying, Taeyong hugged him. “I miss him.”

“Me too, Minhyung-ah, me too”.

_But there’s nothing that we can do._

 

 

 

 

_Dear Taeyong_

_Look, you asshole_

“Ok, that’s not good way to start this” He said pressing the ‘delete’ button.

_I was mad at you for a long time before realizing what’s going on in your head. If Minhyung was ever a problem I would have told you right away and not dragged this relationship for almost 4 years, your cowardice makes me question myself because I don’t remember ever falling in l-_

He deleted the last sentence.

_your cowardice makes me question myself, on the day my dad passed away I was going to propose you. But I guess this doesn’t matter anymore._

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

_I miss you a lot, I don’t want this to end for this stupidity._

 

He closed his computer after deleting the email for nth time. He wanted to talk to him, a couple of days ago he sent a message to let him know about Minhyung, but it was short and impersonal, almost like a memo.

Without letting anyone know, he left his house that night, only his passport in his hand.

 

 

 

 

On his way back home he bought ice cream to celebrate his birthday, he knew his friends were already at his apartment cooking dinner and hopefully not tainting Minhyung’s mind. The wind was cold even if it was summer, he held onto himself trying to not touch the ice cream, until he reached his apartment block, he felt excited and nervous suddenly.

 

_“Are you sure this is ok?”_ He heard behind the door. _“Just hide!” “Stop talking so loud I think he must be close, I saw him getting in the building.” “Where do I put the cake?” “Just hold it, ok, don’t move I’m gonna light the candles.” “Geez… You guys are a bunch of kids!”_

 

He rang the doorbell to announce himself while playing with his keys. He heard the people inside hushing themselves before opening the door slowly.

“SURPRISE!!” His friends including Minhyung jumped from behind some furniture. The first to hug him was Minhyung who gave him a card made by him. It wasn’t until he reached Doyoung and Johnny that something felt odd.

“I knew you guys were coming, you didn’t have to hide.”

“That’s because your real surprise is in the staircase, not here.” Doyoung answered eating a handful of chips. “You should go.”

He looked at everyone in his small living area founding only eyes looking at him with expectation.

 

He ran to the emergency staircase, hearing his heartbeat louder, he pushed the door with all his strength, outside the wind was strong and for a minute he thought his surprise flew away. At first he didn’t saw it, he took two steps in and when he looked downstairs he saw it.

Yuta was sitting facing the wall.

His back looked and smaller.

He wanted to run to him.

Scream at him.

Maybe even hit him.

And most of all, kiss him, hold him.

 

 

But he didn’t, instead he coughed awkwardly and waited for the other to turn around, Yuta went up the stairs slowly, no expression in his face. When they were at them height Yuta took one of his hands.

“Happy birthday” He said forcing himself to smile. “And I’m sorry.”

Taeyong hugged him with strength, so afraid of Yuta leaving again. “No, it’s me, I was stupid I’m sorry.”

“Ey, don’t blame you, we both are at fault.” He giggled in Taeyong’s ear. “It’s been horrible.”

“Yeah, same here.” Taeyong kissed his cheek not letting him go yet. “Can I have hope?” He said breaking their embrace.

“I want to have hope too.” He whispered in Taeyong’s ear. They hugged for a long time in the staircase before deciding it was too cold going back to the apartment.

Doyoung was the first to bother them, then it was Minhyung who was skipping around them the whole time. They lighten up the candles and sung the birthday song to him. Taeyong couldn’t stop smiling during the whole meeting. They ate chicken cramped in the living room, forgetting for a minute how messy everything was going to be.

“So, will you stop moping around?” Jaehyun told him while having a drink, Minhyung was in his bedroom sleeping soundly. Taeyong hit him in the arm, a little bit dizzy after so many beers, he was such a lightweight.

“He didn’t tell me if he was going to stay…” He answered, searching for Yuta with his eyes, founding him talking across the room with Johnny in a corner. They looked at each other for an instance.

“Tie him to your bed”

“I didn’t know you were a perv…” Taeyong laughed out loud. He saw Yuta moving in the corner of his eyes. “Besides, Minhyung is here… it’s not the right thing to do.” He could barely could say, the tip of his fingers getting numb. Suddenly Yuta was on his side, trying to sit on his lap.

“Hey Yuta hyung, how many times did you have sex with Minhyung here?”

“What?” He spat most of his beer.

“That, how many times did you guys fucked while Minhyung was asleep?”

“Why do you care?” Yuta said. Taeyong had his face hiding in Yuta’s neck, making him ticklish.

“For the science, of course.” Yuta laughed loud. “No, I actually have a bet with Doyoung, because he doesn’t think you guys ever fuck, and that’s why Taeyong proposed to break up, which is, stupid by the way, you guys are too into each other.”

“That’s not… that’s not it.” Yuta said, looking at the floor. “But if this makes Doyoung lose money, yeah, he fucked a couple of times in this house while Minhyung was asleep.”

“HEY! Don’t say that, it’s my son…”

“I know that, I’m not saying nothing but the truth though…” Yuta shrugged, he tried to not pay attention to Taeyong’s hand that was getting too low. Jaehyun laughed and stood up ready to tell the news to Doyoung.

“Don’t go telling everybody the things we do.” Taeyong said pouting.

“I didn’t tell a lot.” Yuta said smiling, and suddenly he recalled the time when they started dating. When they went on coffee shop dates that always ended in cuddling in Yuta’s apartment.

“We should kick them… I want to be with you.”

 

 

 

 

Taeyong made sure to kiss every part of Yuta’s body that night. He started sobering up after his friends left, they went immediately to their old bed, hugging each other under the blankets.

“I ran away from home to come… I tried to send a message but I couldn’t put my thoughts on a screen… I miss you so much.”

“Me too.” Taeyong kissed his cheek. “But I think Minhyung missed you more, I’m kind of jealous…”

“Why?” Yuta laughed.

“You’ve always been nice to him, you took care of him, you played with him when I couldn’t…”

“Hey, don’t be like that, he loves you more than anything…”

“I hope so…”

“Hey… Don’t be like that.”

“Would you stay this time?”

 

 

Yuta fell asleep before answering that.

 

 

 

 

 

He went back to Japan two months later.

 

His sister quitted the job suddenly and he had to be back in charge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Epilogue.

 

 

“Hey, Dad! Come on, we’re almost there”

“Really? I feel like we’ve been walking in circles for ages.”

“Maybe at the beginning, but I think I found the way.”

Taeyong walked slowly behind his son, he suddenly recalled when he was little, always hanging from his hand. Now the brat was walking so fast that he barely could put up with his rhythm.

“Here is it!” Minhyung screamed at him, pressing the doorbell of a two-story house, his stomach made a turn and almost made him turn back, this was stupid. “Hello, is Nakamoto Yuta here?” His son asked sounding almost local, he didn’t knew Minhyung was good at Japanese, Minhyung took his hand when the door opened, he lost his breath.

 

“It’s good to see you, Taeyong-ah”

 

He didn’t realize when he got into the house, Minhyung was nowhere to be seen and he was alone with Yuta, after so many years, he was still there. Just as beautiful.

 

“It’s good to see you too.”

 

 

He did realize that even though the years has passed Yuta looked the same, like that afternoon in the airport when they decided to part ways. He knew he looked older, but Yuta looked like if he was waiting for him.

Could he be?

Taeyong took Yuta’s hand, recalling how it felt, how nice it was.

 

“I missed you.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this long time ago to thank all the love this story got, but i never quite finished till now :P.  
> also i miss yutae, but this is more centered on the little boys, hehehe, enjoy it :D.

So far Osaka was nice, his dad was smiling a lot and Yuta looked like he was walking on air, for the first time since he meet him, twelve years ago. But something felt weird, like incomplete.

After turning 15 he decided to contact his mother again, with Donghyuk’s help he found where she lived and went personally to talk to her. It was hard, at first, seeing his mother after 12 years of no contact, it felt foreign and at same time no.

Somehow, she let him go, she signed the papers. She looked tired, and didn’t make any effort to hide she had a new family. He didn’t really care about that, well, kind of, he was curious of his siblings, but that was another story.

He went home late, with 20 missed calls from his dad, and another five from Donghyuk.

Two months after, he was on a plane with his father biting his nails by his side.

 

 

During the years his father and Yuta didn’t lost their communication, both agreed to keep in touch even if it was hard. When they moved to Osaka, it was awkward at first, mostly because Yuta lived with his mom, and got used to be a little free. But after the first week everything went back to normal. Yuta’s mother convinced them to leave their lousy hotel room, and moved to the Nakamoto’s house. Minhyung got into the local high school, after a series of tests and lots of paperwork.

 

 

“So, with your father we agreed that I will speak to you only in Japanese… even if you’re good enough already.” Yuta said rolling his eyes while looking at Taeyong.

“And if you don’t like the school, we can go back there’s no problem.”

“Dad, you’ve been telling me that since we arrived.” Minhyung said laughing. “I’m ok, the kids at the school are nice too”

“Sorry, just want to be sure.” Taeyong pouted. Yuta laughed loud.

“Minhyung has always been a good-hearted kid, he will be alright. Hey, how’s your friend? The one who talked really loud?” Yuta said in korean, forgetting what he said just a minute ago.

“He’s good.” Minhyung answered a little bit uncomfortable.

“He went to the airport to say good bye.” Taeyong recalled laughing a little bit. “The kid is so in love with our Minhyung”

Minhyung turned red and flew out of the room before his father could say more. He heard the adults laughing from the living while he got into his room. He recalled Donghyuk’s face when he left, the puffy eyes and the fake smile. It hurt, a lot, but he knew at the same time he was too young to take any decision or action over what he was feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was fighting with his math homework when he felt his father sitting in front of him. He became used to do homework in their living room so that way he could scream at Yuta (who was in a room next to it working) to help him. The three lived on a small apartment behind the big Nakamoto house, who was used by Yuta’s mother and their employees.

“Having trouble?” His dad asked looking at his notes.

“Yeah… I actually don’t know what I am doing…”

“Oh, let me I’m actually good at math…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, don’t look down on your father…”

Minhyung smiled sweetly at him. He would never, he couldn’t look down on his dad. He suddenly felt emotional over that. “Dad? Can I continue later?” He asked him in a low voice, in the middle of an explanation of an important formula.

“Yes, are you ok?”

“No, actually, I’m a little sad…”

“Why?”

“I miss Donghyuk.”

Taeyong got up from his sit and went to hug Minhyung. “I know it’s going to be difficult now… but you can still message him.”

“I know, we still do, actually… but he was kinda being dramatic last night, and I wanted to be with him…” Taeyong breathed out heavily, he didn’t want his son to go through the same he went through. It hurt him. He didn’t want to regret his decision to come to Japan, but whenever he saw Minhyung was a little sad he couldn’t stop of going back, even if that meant leaving Yuta behind. “Dad, please don’t ever think of going back because of me…” Minhyung said like he was reading his mind.” … I love Yuta, as a father, leaving him will be like leaving you, and I don’t want that, we went through that enough time.”

Just in that moment Yuta appeared through the door with a bag in his arms. “Hey, I’m back.” He said while taking of his shoes. “Is something wrong?” Yuta looked at the two who were still hugging each other in the dining area.

“We’ll talk about it later, what did you bring?” Taeyong said taking the bag from Yuta’s arms. Yuta kissed his cheek.

“My mom bought us fruit, she thinks we ask for delivery too many times a week” Taeyong laughed at that, because it was true. “I told her we’re busy, no time for cooking, and then she went to why we don’t live with her…” He paused grabbing an apple from the bag.

“What did you tell her?” Taeyong said taking a bite from said apple.

“That it would be awkward to live with her, besides it’s not like we moved out of the country, and she still has my little sister with her… I don’t know why she always bring this up.”

“She just wants the family together…” Taeyong replied softly, the three moved to couch.

“Right, but we live in the backyard, it’s not far…” Yuta pouted, Taeyong kissed him quickly, Minhyung made puking sounds. The adults coughed, red faces looking at the ceiling.

 

 

They ate dinner in silence in the kotatsu while looking tv, it was getting colder every day, Minhyung found himself loving more and more the Japanese table. He looked at his father who was falling asleep while looking at the tv, Yuta was washing the dishes while humming a pop song. He got up shivering at the sudden change of temperature.

“Yuta-nii… can I ask you something?”

“Of course, buddy, what is it?”

“Can I invite someone over during the holidays?”

“Yeah, sure, I was thinking of taking a short trip to Tokyo, you guys haven’t been there yet, right?” Minhyung shook his head, Yuta smiled at him. “We can take your friend there too, are them from your new school?”

Minhyung turned red, scratching his head. “Well, actually it’s a friend from Korea… it’s Donghyuk”

Yuta’s eyes shined like when a kind found chocolate. “Ohhh… I know him! Will his parents agree on this?”

“I think he can convince them…”

Yuta smiled at him, ruffling his hair, Minhyung suddenly felt small again. “I missed you a lot.” The older hugged him smiling, Minhyung was still a little bit shorter.

“Yeah, me too…”

“I never got to ask if I could call you dad… but then dad’s dad… I just… feel weird calling you Yuta-ni, you feel like a lot more… and then Oto-san, feels foreign, and Oto-chan too childish… Are you ok?” Minhyung stopped his rambling when he felt how Yuta was hugging him tighter.

“Yes, just let me stay like this a little bit…” Minhyung felt the older exhale and then say. “It’s ok, I don’t really care how you call, I just feel good knowing that you care for me, I feel grateful for letting me be with your dad.”

“You shouldn’t, actually, you made everything more simple when I was a child, dad used to work a lot, and I was either at the daycare or at the neighbors place, when you came, I got the chance to stay at home, and you made the funniest games, I still recall.”

“Ok, kid, you should stop talking or you’re really going to make me cry.”

“Oh, let him be.” Taeyong said from door frame. “He’s always been good with words.”

“Not so much in Japanese, though…” Minhyung answered scratching his neck, Yuta was looking flustered in the middle of the kitchen, the remaining dishes long forgotten.

“Hey, I was having a moment here.” Yuta said, pushing Taeyong lightly in the arm, his lover just laughed.

“It’s ok, papa, there’ll be lots now that we’re here.”

It took three seconds for Yuta to start crying, while Taeyong was hugging him, telling him: _‘you old softie’._

The winter came, and Minhyung was waiting anxiously in the airport, he didn’t know how Donghyuk got permission from his parents, but he also knew how persistent the younger could be. His hands were freezing, he forgot his gloves at his place but he was pretending he was ok, just because his father was glaring at him.

He soon forgot about the cold when he saw his friend walking through the door looking a little bit lost. He smiled and ran to help him with his luggage.

 

 

 

 

In the car, Donghyuk was telling him how annoying it was to be in class with Jaemin and Jeno, and how a new student from China joined his group of friends. “I think Jaemin is jealous because Jeno only pays attention to Renjun, and I’m in the middle trying not to merge in their love lives.” He said fast, trying to not be overheard by Taeyong who was focused in driving.

Minhyung just smiled. Trying to picture his friends in a love triangle, but somehow, he couldn’t.

Donghyuk felt asleep on his shoulder thirty minutes into the drive. When they arrived home Minhyung couldn’t resist to bother him about drooling on his shoulder.

The ride to Tokyo was fun, Minhyung couldn’t stop smiling, he had missed his friend so much.

 

 

 

Every morning when he wakes up he would look at Donghyuk eyelashes, counting them in his mind. He would wait for the other to stop sleeping, but usually he would fall back asleep, and would wake up again to Donghyuk looking at the window of their hotel room in Tokyo.

Some days were too cold, so the four would snuggle in a bed watching crappy Christmas movies, he would stop watching them halfway.

Both filled their bags with pretty toys and Donghyuk with snacks also, a couple of video games, and lots of polaroid pictures Taeyong took for them. His favorite was one where Donghyuk was laughing while he was looking at a piece of takoyaki that fell on the street.

 

He told Donghyuk he had a crush on him on new years, because he is that kind of person. Donghyuk took his hand and smiled at him, he didn’t say anything after it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I shouldn’t have said it…” Minhyung was in the kitchen in their house already back in Osaka. His dad in front of him was preparing breakfast while Yuta and Donghyuk were still sleeping.

“Maybe he’s just thinking about it… besides you guys are too young to be suffering about love…”

“I´m not suffering… it’s just…” He exhaled hard. “Donghyuk is my best friend, and I’m already scared because he is far... and we’ve always been together”.

“No need to cry about, jeez, you’re so dramatic.” Taeyong turned around ruffling his son hair. “Don’t take it too hard please, you guys will know how to work things out, it will be alright.”

 

 

 

Three days after his love confession, they were back at the airport. Long padded jacket hugging their bodies, pink cheeks. It was Yuta this time who drive them to the airport, which was nice because he kept playing loud music. None of the boys wanted to talk, Minhyung could see the tears forming in Donghyuk’s eyes and it hurt his heart. Yuta left them in a waiting room to buy them some hot chocolate, Donghyuk had dropped his bags and still had some time to go through the passport check.

“So, I’ll try to come in the summer… I’m gonna tell my parents to take me to the Universal Studios or something so we can be together…” Donghyuk spoke full of determination, he sounded older, not like the 15-year-old he was.

“It’s not necessary, you know… You should think of your little siblings too.”

Donghyuk pouted. “But I want to see you… I don’t want to be so much time away from you.”

“We will meet again, I promise you…” He said kissing the corner his lips.

Donghyuk gave him a kiss on his lips before going to passport check. He went back to his place crying. Yuta tried to comfort him, but it was useless. Minhyung’s heart had broke a little.

 

 

 

 

 

His bag was filled with lots of snacks, and ramen cups, a bunch of things his dad thought it would be useful in his new life. Yuta was panicking slightly while telling Taeyong to not to make a scene in the station, Minhyung looked at the couple with adoration, he could see the tears in both eyes. He was leaving for college, in Tokyo.  He didn’t cry. He knew he could go back to Osaka any time, Yuta gave him a credit card just to buy tickets to visit them.

“You know that Tokyo can be lonely sometimes, so please, don’t leave Donghyuk on his own, take care of him” Yuta said in Japanese really low so Taeyong wouldn’t heard him. “Also, don’t eat too much take out, you’ll fall sick.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Taeyong said, cleaning his eyes. “Is it about Donghyuk?”

“Yeah…”

“He’s already there? I mean at your apartment?”

“No, his flight it’s in the night.” They saw how the train arrived the station. “Time to go, I love a lot.” He said hugging them. “I will see you on my next break.”

Yuta and Taeyong waved him good bye from the platform while he waved back from his seat inside the train.

 

 

 

 

He was resting in his future bed, _their future bed_ , after setting his things in the room, it was a small studio close to campus, but they would make it work. A light knock interrupted his thoughts. He got up opening the door slowly. Donghyuk hugged him when the door was open enough. Minhyung could only return the hug and kiss his head.

“I missed you so so so much.”

“Me too, Donghyuk-ah, me too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> here's my twitter if you guys want to talk @/natodso

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it here, thank you so much.


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